I put on my skates and made my way on the rink. Oh dear... My feet had clearly forgotten about last week and the slipperiness of the floor was scary once again. I knew I just needed to get used to it again, so I edged my way up the rink, using the rail, until I got to the end. "This is silly!" I thought, "I could skate last week! I don't need this rail!" so I started off not holding on and made my way back again. I'd noticed the dreaded gap and a flash of fear went through my mind. I tried to forget it but suddenly my feet were rolling a little quicker than I had liked and they were heading towards the slope out of the rink. "No, no, no! Not that way!" I tried to lean the other way but it wasn't working, I couldn't stop, there was nothing I could do! I panicked, I straightened my posture and could suddenly feel myself falling backwards! I flailed my arms but that didn't help. I landed SMACK! right on my coccyx.
It took a second for the pain to reach my brain but as soon as it did I was in agony and, with a "Fuuuuck!", I rolled on to my side. Our coach for the day skated straight over to see if I was okay. I explained what had happened and sat up. She asked me to get up, but I couldn't. There was no way I was going to get back up onto those devil skates, especially with pain radiating through my entire bum, so I started to cry. The coach gave me a big hug and told me it was fine. I'd fallen, very gracefully apparently, and I was in pain, crying was totally understandable, especially as it was the first time I had fallen properly! But, on the bright side, I'd have an awesome bruise to show for it! I took my skates off on the rink and tried to save some pride by refusing an icepack. I sat on the bench, still crying while the friend I was trying to impress rushed over with some tissues. I was embarrassed, I was pissed off and I was just....grrrr! I eventually accepted an icepack as the pain was awful and, after a few more tears, decided that I wasn't going to give up so put on my skates and made it back on to the rink.
My confidence was shaken. I could no longer trust my feet so I had reverted and spent the rest of the session moping and slowly skating up and down the rink by the rail. My friend, who had previously broken her ankle, came over to talk to me and told me that I was very good for getting back on my skates and not giving up after a fall like that. It made me feel a bit better but I was still upset and had to stop every now and then so I could have a little sob. At the end of the session, I took my skates off on the rink, begrudgingly stretched, and spent the journey home in silence. I'd sent the boyfriend a text explaining what had happened and, when I arrived home, he'd run me a bath and gave me a hug. I just said "I fell, spectacularly, on my bum" to which he just laughed. After he'd laughed, I laughed. I was being ridiculous! Yeah, I'd fallen. Yeah, it'd hurt like hell. But Roller Derby is a contact sport and people fall all the time! I was going to have to suck it up and get used to it!
I was in pain for a fair few days, but I laughed it off and decided to have another practice with my Mum to get my confidence back. We went to our usual spot and I focused. Derby stance? Check. Looking forward? Check. I was back to normal. I was shaky to begin with but I soon got back into the swing of things, even if a nerve in my bum/leg was twinging. By the time I got home, that nerve was inflamed and I was in agony once again so I spent the rest of the evening with an icepack down the back of my pants.
I was ready for next week, but I expected I would still be in pain (and I never got that awesome bruise!)
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